Brian slammed his hand down on his alarm clock for the fifth time and finally opened his eyes.  It was almost noon.  Finals were over and he had to get out of his dorm room and go home for the summer.  That was the worst final of all, cleaning up a whole year’s worth of junk.  But he rolled onto the floor and looked under the bed.  Underneath, gathering lots of dust, were three socks, several receipts, and three pieces of pottery.  The socks went straight to the dirty clothes, the receipts were too old to matter, but the pottery was supposed to have been Christmas presents for his family.  He paused and wiped the dust off the colorfully glazed mugs.  But it didn’t help.  He had made them hastily at the last minute and it showed.  He tried to remember what had been so important on the internet in December, so important that it had kept him away from the pottery studio.  He couldn’t remember.  He only remembered the panic with which he made his final projects.  And he didn’t want to remember any more, so he threw them in the trash.  He had failed to do what he should have done, and now it was time to move on.  

 

His desk was no less painful.  There were graded papers from spring semester that he wanted to forget for the same reason, and those went in the trash.  There was a plagiarized paper that he had never turned in, but he was ashamed that he had even written it.  Trash.  A letter written in anger, that he was likewise glad he had never sent but sorry he had written.  His fall grades… they were good, but he didn’t smile.  He had ignored his friends, skipped meeting with his prayer group, refused to study with his competitors, and forgotten all about praying at night many times in order to get those good grades.  Trash.  Then came a church bulletin covered in funny pictures he had drawn about the Bible readings… but he didn’t laugh.  He should have been paying attention and praying that Sunday.  Trash.  A ticket stub from a football game, where he had a great time with his friends.  But his smile quickly faded.  He had skipped church to go to the game.  No need to save that memory.  

 

Under notes from a class, he found a letter to his parents he had started and never finished.  Better spend time with them this summer... He sighed and dropped it in the trash.  There was another letter, from a high school friend thinking about getting an abortion.  He had prayed for her a little, but never really done anything to help.  And now it was no longer an issue.  He had failed to do anything and she had gotten an abortion.  Trash.  A picture he had drawn of a student he had a crush on.  But the crush had ended in lust, not a relationship.  He wadded it up and threw it in the trash.

 

Under more old homework, a candy bar!  Then he remembered.  He had taken it from Joe’s room when Joe had gotten so much stuff in a care package that he would never notice.  But Brian had no appetite for it now any more than he had when he first took it. And it was probably stale.  Trash.  Then there was the campaign speech that had gotten him his job as student body treasurer.  That was fun to read, except he noticed the line where he had insinuated the incumbent kept money for her own dorm.  He hadn’t felt good saying it at the time, and he didn’t feel good reading it.  He owed her an apology.  And threw the speech in the trash.  

 

He continued pitching flyers from events he never attended, and a few from events he wished he hadn't attended, and then found a really awesome drawing of his friend’s girlfriend.  He had drawn it to give to his friend, but had kept it instead.  And looked at it a few too many times.  Trash.  At the bottom of the pile was a catalogue of all kinds of cool stuff.  Which he had bought for himself, instead of the Christmas presents he was supposed to have spent his money on.  Trash.

 

He heard the noisy rumble of the trash truck coming and looked out the window.  Its big white frame was turning.  He grabbed his heavy waste basket and felt heavy himself with the weight of all the things he had done and all the things he should have done that year.  But he ran down the stairs and out into the street.  He caught up to the trash truck and dumped his junk in the back with the broken lamps and rubbish of other students.  Then watched its white form rumble away and head towards the dump.  The waste basket was light and so was his heart.  What was done was done.  All of it was taken away.  He would never see that stuff ever again.  It was summer, and time to start over.

 

Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world.   -- John 1:29

 

Things to ponder as you think about confessing sins to God:

 

Philippians 3:7-9, New American Bible, the Apostle Paul wrote, “Whatever gains I had, these I have come to consider a loss because of Christ.  For His sake I have accepted the loss of all things, and count them as so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.”

 

I confess that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do…

 

Exodus 20:1-17

I) “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.  You shall have no other gods before me.  You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I, the LORD you God, am a jealous God.”  Report card.

II) “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.”  Jokes on bulletin.

III) “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.”  Football game stub, missed church.

IV)  “Honor your father and your mother.”  Letter to parents he never finished.

V) “You shall not kill.”  Lack of help for friend considering an abortion.

VI) “You shall not commit adultery.”  Picture of girl he lusted after with no relationship.

VII) “You shall not steal.”  Candy bar from friend’s room.

VIII) “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” Speech accusing opponent.

IX)   “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.”  Picture of friend’s girlfriend.

X)   “You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor’s.” Catalogue for self, not family

 

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good,
I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things.
I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more,
and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.
Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.

In His name, my God, have mercy.    Amen.

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